7 Reasons Why You Should Not Care What Others Think
“What you think of yourself is more important than what others think of you” – Kenny Ensor
Do you care what others think?
How much of your life is dependent on the opinions of others?
For me, it has been for a long time.
The more you give your life to the opinions of others, the more you lose yourself.
And when you lose yourself, you won’t be happy in living your life.
The solution is simple. Stop caring what others think and do what makes you happy.
Here are 7 reasons why you should not care what others think.
1. No one cares as much as you think they do
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I used to be overly concerned with how I look, what I say, and what people expected me to do.
When I did public speaking, the thought of them pointing at all my flaws made me sweat in my palms.
But it turns out, they weren’t looking at the flaws. They didn’t remember my failures at all.
And at one point I would talk to someone and I would fumble my words all over, which makes me sound like a stuttering walrus.
Then I would say to myself, “Why did I ever say that! I’m so stupid.”
It turns out, they weren’t focusing on my flaws.
They were focusing on whether they gave me a good impression as much as I was trying to give them.
I remember sitting at a meeting and someone came through the door but all the seats were taken.
And I offer her my seat, she refused, and it made a huge scene. Everyone were looking at us.
But only for 3 seconds and then they went back to their business.
People worry about themselves more than they worry about you.
So it’s okay to have mistakes because no one is really looking for them.
Don’t let the “what ifs” prevent you from being you.
2. You get to be yourself
When I stopped making choices based on what people expected of me, I get to be myself.
You may not even realize how much your choices are influenced by others.
Have you hold yourself back because of what people will think?
Maybe you’re at a restaurant and you ordered a meal based on what everyone else did?
Though you don’t feel pressure to follow what the people around is doing, you did it because you worry.
You worry an unfounded worry and you become someone you are not because of what people might think, might react, or might say.
It is freedom to feel like you can be yourself and not having to censor yourself for how people will react.
You are your own unique canvas.
I enjoyed putting ketchup on my ramen noodle.
All of my family said that I was crazy and that is not how you eat a ramen noodle.
I stopped because I was afraid of being called crazy again.
Then years later, my family put ketchup on their ramen noodles and told me I was crazy if I didn’t do that.
Stop relying on people’s opinions.
They change on a daily basis.
You can make the choices you want no matter what anyone thinks.
And you can finally be yourself.
3. People who don’t like you, still don’t like you
No matter how great, talented, cool, smart, spiritual, or successful you are, someone out there will not like you.
So worrying about whether someone likes you or not is a losing game.
If you try to be what they expected or wanted and they still don’t like you, they still won’t like you when you are not.
It’s natural that we cannot please everyone and that not everyone will like you.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” ― André Gide, Autumn Leaves
See, some people suck.
And whether you do right or wrong, they will criticize your every move.
If they want to judge you, let them.
Realize that what they think is a reflection of who they are, not you.
4. Experience less stress
I would spend hours wandering about how I would talk to them or approach them.
Though deep down, I was afraid of the “what ifs’.
What if they don’t like what I say? What if they don’t agree? What if they don’t like me?
It’s totally dis-empowering to give into the stress of “what ifs”.
I wasted hours upon hours because I didn’t pull the trigger that only took 5 minutes.
Instead, it became 5 hours of thinking and thinking the best way to say something so they think well of me.
It turns out, it didn’t really matter what I said.
If you go in expecting to be yourself, you’ll not only lessen your stress but you also lessen the stress for others as well.
And then you will know that what you said is not important and what they think of you is not that important either.
5. Life becomes better
When you don’t allow the thoughts of others to control what you wear, what you do, and the choices you make, you are free.
Your possibilities are endless.
Wear mismatched clothes.
Share your opinions.
And go where you want to go.
No one can stop you from being you.
6. People like you more
When you don’t base your actions on what other people think, they get to know the real you.
You get respect because you know who you are.
And they know who you are.
Now you are free from worries because you are not held back by having to change yourself to fit someone else.
This authenticity creates a stronger and longer-lasting relationship.
Don’t change yourself so people will like you, be yourself so the right people will love you.
7. You get to care to those who matter
Not caring what others think doesn’t mean that you should be cold and care less.
In fact, it means that you can care about the right people instead of the wrong people.
There are a lot of wrong people who will discourage you, gossip, criticize, accuse, and talk about you.
If you are doing something that is not in their worldview, something extraordinary, or be someone higher than them, they will bring you down.
Those aren’t the people you should care about.
Leave them be so you could spend more of your time with the people who matter.