The Subtle Art of Happiness
We all want to be happy and it’s a right to pursue happiness.
But perhaps what we are looking for is more subtle than we can see.
Happiness doesn’t come from reading self-help books for happiness or attending a happy seminar.
The level of profound joy is unconditional and gives us a feeling of enjoyment.
At one time we didn’t need anyone to teach us how to be happy because that feeling of happiness is already inside us.
And right now it’s still inside you waiting for the moment to come out.
Finding What Makes You Happy
Many times we tell ourselves that we must do this or that before we are happy.
That someone have to be this and not that so that we maintain that happiness.
If we can decide when to be happy, why not decide to be happy now?
What makes you happy? It’s the thoughts of happiness.
The things that gives you joy are the ones you find joyful.
If you imagine a funny scene in your mind, then you naturally bring forth a smile.
So the source of happiness is not something outside of us but one we can bring to ourselves.
The formula for happiness: maintain state of happiness + be immune to negativity.
Happiness is Not an End Goal
Many people see happiness as this significant end-goal.
It could come in the form of “I will be happy once I become ___” or “I will be happy only if ____.”
This kind of thinking says that once you reach this end-goal, you’ll forever be in happiness mode.
Yet, the problem with this approach is that problems never stop.
So we are sacrificing our happiness now to achieve this hypothetical happiness in the future.
If you can’t be happy exactly as you are now, nothing else can make you happy.
No one can fix you. Nothing can fill in the void. No single thing can give you everlasting peace except yourself.
Happiness is an emotion that always changes.
If something goes your way, you’ll be happy. And if there’s a problem, you won’t.
If we want an everlasting happiness, our happiness cannot be conditional.
So how do we find this unconditional happiness?
Be with Life
It’s not about showing up with a smiley face all the time or shoving down your negative emotions in the deepest depths of your soul.
You can’t have perfect relationship without learning from your previous mistakes and failures.
And you can’t get a chiseled body without toughening out the pain for the gains.
In other words, negative emotions can help you become a stronger person.
So don’t run away from it.
Have happiness because that’s who you are.
Because you are a spiritual person and a spiritual person is wise and happy.
Even if there is nothing good happening in the news, life still exist and the flowers are blooming.
But this is a practice all in itself and we can practice happiness like we do with practicing compassion.
Killers of Happiness
What kills our happiness is not what happened but what we interpret in relation to ourselves.
The secret for being happy and feeling good is to accept reality as it is.
By surrendering to the moment and accepting what life has given you, you become fluid.
You’re able to handle the situation without getting upset or losing your cool.
Is this easy? Absolutely Not!
Your first instinct is to be disappointed, get pissed off, and throw a fit when things don’t go your way.
But realize that life has an ebb and flow in our day-to-day life.
If we are able to catch ourselves in the moment of the roller coaster, we can be calm and accept reality for what it is.
When you accept reality as it is, you notice something very peculiar.
Your innate strength comes forth and the world becomes your playground. Because when you can accept reality, no one and nothing can mess up your day.
If you break your ankle, then you break your ankle. If your girlfriend broke up with you, then she broke up with you. And if you lost your job, then you lost your job.
No matter how you feel about it, it’s not going to change what happened.
This is how you can be happy even with perceived negative experiences.
Your girlfriend broke up with you. But this doesn’t mean you will never find someone like that again. It means you have an opportunity to gain greater freedom and date other people.
You always have control over how you perceive your reality. Nothing is inherently negative unless you think it so.
How to Achieve Happiness
Happiness is a state of mind, you can always be happy by choosing to think happy.
Our thoughts decide whether we are happy or sad or angry.
When we have positive thoughts, we are surely to be happy.
So dwell on things like peace, love, harmony, beauty, nature and truth.
It is the thoughts of happiness that allows us to attune to the vibration of happiness.
Yet, we also know that life is full of challenges and tribulations that makes the joyous full of suffering.
If it were easy, we wouldn’t be here on this planet learning the lessons of life.
Thus, our happiness also comes from the victory over our challenges.
We shouldn’t withhold our happiness until our problems disappear.
Rather, happiness comes from retaining the positive thoughts despite our problems.
It is something we all must continually work and improve upon.
So learn to see the joy in the little things, to lift up your blessings for what you have, to learn to laugh and have fun.
And remember, happiness isn’t something you reach for but something you already have.
All you need is to perceive happiness in a world full of illusions.
Be Open, Not Closed
Our emotions fundamentally operate on two principles: open or closed.
When you are open, life is good.
If someone interrupts you, you joke with them. You got invited to a party and you accept.
Maybe your friend owes you $20 and you are not worried about it, you just went back to work.
But when you are closed, everything becomes a dark cloud.
Someone interrupts you and you snaps back at them. You got invited to a party and you feel stressed or think it’s a waste of time.
Then your friend owes you $20 and never came so you went to work and drive yourself insane browsing the internet.
We are either open or closed emotionally.
This also carries into our physical posture.
If you are closed, you tend to cross your arms, put our hands on our head, or curl up into a ball. Our breathing becomes shallow, anxious breath, and our muscles tensed.
But when we are emotionally open, we stand tall, arms to the side, chest expanded and we take deep full breaths.
Happiness is Within
Since happiness is inside our mind, we can bring out happiness within ourselves simply by learning how to control our mind.
This can be done through meditation.
By stilling the mind, we overcome thousands of thoughts roaming inside our mind – the ones giving us negative and destructive thoughts.
We can react less to perceived or real insults and injustice and become intentional with how we want to create our reality.
Of course, a healthy body must also complement a healthy mind.
We can all reach a greater level of unconditional happiness and it starts with You.