“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
There are always going to be times where things feel out of control.
I met up with an old friend whom I deeply care and empathize with his internal struggles – his alcohol addiction.
Wanting to help him heal, I attempted to get him back into health but it didn’t work. I couldn’t control the outcome.
And the more I wanted to help, the more I felt responsible for his condition.
He didn’t want help. And I couldn’t do anything but watch him fall into despair.
I realized that I wasn’t in control of anyone but myself.
That’s when I had to learn to accept the truth instead of changing them.
The Problem with Control
Having control means holding so hard onto life that it becomes harder to break free.
One thing we can be certain of in life is that nothing is certain.
Everything changes. Nothing stays the same.
If we cling onto something that is bound to change, we resist our natural growth and become stale.
Rigidity becomes suffering.
How many times have you been misunderstood?
How many times have you been stressed out or disappointed because you can’t control what someone thought of you?
The truth is, people will see what they want to see.
People will hear what they want to hear.
People will believe what they want to believe.
It doesn’t matter whether you worry about it or try to convince them.
So it’s time to let go of it all.
Why Letting Go Means More Control
The less control you feel the more control you actually have.
It’s only when we relinquish control that we finally gain self mastery.
You might think that we’re in control of our actions and decisions.
You might think you are the one talking, doing, and thinking.
But you’re not. You’re only the observer.
Everything else is an illusion.
Instead, change and adapt to the reality as it happens.
Then we will have less suffering and more peace within.
Realize that you are not in control and that nothing is happening on your own accord.
If there is a decision or action that has to be made, do it and let go.
Letting go means to accept the uncertainty of changing reality.
Once you let go, your intuition will take over and you will always make the best decision possible.
The thoughts in your mind are not necessary.
All the contemplation, worry, and anxiety is also unnecessary.
We only know what is happening now.
And we can’t know what will happen in the next 10 seconds.
We won’t know what someone will do in the next 10 seconds.
So all our contemplation and worries are automatically false.
It’s like trying to understand the weather a year from now.
It’s a waste of time and energy.
Just let go and live your life.
Allow your intuition to guide you.
Letting go of the illusion of control allows me to see clearly so I could make the best decision for myself.
I realize that I couldn’t control or fix what wasn’t mine to begin with.
You Gain Inner Peace
“People are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and opinions which they form concerning things. – Epictetus
The events outside of us will happen regardless of what we do.
When we are afflicted, it is not because of others but due to how we perceive the event.
Our thoughts, our opinions, our view of the world determines our reaction, not the person or thing itself.
All else is but an illusion.
Knowing this, we can gain inner peace by accepting that things will be things, animals will be animals, and people will be people.
So you don’t have to be ruffled by external conditions.
You don’t have to try and change things when there’s nothing to change.
We can ascend the worries and anxieties by surrendering to the universe, by letting go, and by living in the present moment.